Small, But Strong

Sitting on the subway, after an afternoon spent wandering, I was faced with the fear of my smallness. To my left sat two burly teenage boys. Both bigger than me, their loudness made them seem twice as big as they were. They threw out insults peppered with fucks, about the people they knew, all the way from 14th to 42nd. Annoyance at the noise breaking through my thoughts persisted until relief flooded when they rose to exit. Only to have annoyance return, with them, after they kicked the door that had shut on them before they could reach it.

They settled back in and before too long, one of the two trashed a bottle below the seat we were sharing. In an instant my eyes connected with those of the much bigger, even burlier man sat directly across from me. Without moving, our eyes shared an imperceptible shake of the head at this inconsiderate action. Then, in an instant, fear hit. It rose with a pang from deep within, and I heard it tell me to wipe the small smile that had appeared straight off my face before one of them noticed. This man, safe in his size, could respond with whatever he wanted to anyone, at anytime, but those boys could take me down in a second. The glaring disparity in our sense of security stood out, and it shocked me silent. That’s how I stayed for the rest of that ride.

Standing on my yoga mat a few days later, I was shown the strength I’d questioned. To my left stood a larger than average man. Nearly double my size, he was almost a full foot taller and had a good 75 pounds on me. Athletic, I clocked he could beat me in any competition. With a sliver of space separating us, I sensed him move as the class started. I made the connection to the earlier incident and opened my mind to what the universe wanted to show me.

He knew the movements but it was obvious he had only recently begun his practice. His limbs lifted to make every pose, but they curved in where mine stretched out. His breath heaved with effort, while mine stayed steady beside him. He pushed to hold every stance, pausing as he went, and I remembered when I’d started and done the same.

Then, I stumbled a few times, and smiling inward at my missteps, reflected that this was no competition. We were each where we were meant to be, with our own work to accomplish, and his determination would catch him up to where I was quickly. Meanwhile, I learned the lesson the universe had intended. Fear was a liar. My strength, which came from the core and had been cultivated with careful practice, could overcome any challenge, presented by anyone.

Moving on, I felt what he gave me while working on himself. His breath, heavily exhaled, cooled the back of my neck right when a breeze was most needed. Sensing him push past his body’s limits, I felt my stagnation, and realized I’d stopped striving to improve the positions I’d perfected. Routine had settled in, and I had to push past it and dig deeper. Following the example his effort set, I added variations I hadn’t attempted in a while and struck a well of untapped power within me. It was there, waiting for me, and my heart soared as strength filled my body, enabling me to hold every position long after my muscles ached to take a rest.

Taking our last bend forward, with all hands in prayer position at our hearts, we thanked the instructor aloud while I silently thanked the universe for having sent this man to help me see my strength more clearly.

— — —

If you want to see and heal what’s hidden within, I’ve created tools that help you do that. Through 70+ HEART Alchemē Kits or The CORE reBUILD Program, you can clear out what’s weighed you down for way too long.

With, In & For LOVE…