You're Here. Now, Ask Why?

Back in 2016, I gave a Reiki-Break to a woman in a WeWork. Most of the session was spent with my hands over her heart, easing out the painful energy stuck there. After, I said there was a lot still there, and she asked...

“What else can I do for my heart?”

I didn’t know how to answer her. I hadn’t found the full answer yet, and I couldn’t give her one that wouldn’t really help her. I wish I could find her today. To tell her what I now know.

Fast-forward to the Fall of 2018. I was having a facial, and the woman who gave it talked throughout it. Mostly about how much fear she was feeling about everything all of the time, how she didn’t want to pass that energy down to her children. I told her — This is good! You’re aware of it. That says a lot about you; it means you’re ready. To find the root of it. To face it. To release it. 

I’m sharing these stories to give these women credit. A lot of it. For being aware that something needed to be worked through. For realizing that endless, heartless distractions aren’t the answer. For wanting to change whatever it is that’s not working. For real.

Not just them. All of the women, and men too, who have come to me to ask for help going deeper within themselves, across the years. And you too. Because you are reading this for a reason.

But WHERE do YOU start? WHAT will work? And HOW long will IT take?

There’s no telling on the timing. That’s unique to you, your wounds, and how much you do to heal them. What I can do (now) is give you guidance on how to do it, based on what I’ve learned across the years, what I know works, as well as offer you tools to do the healing – either with me or on your own time, at your own pace, and in the order that’s right for you. But, YOU are the one who has to choose to do it. That’s the only way it WILL work. 

Here’s one way to start, something I suggested to that woman giving me a facial...

Ask yourself WHY and don’t stop, ever.

When someone or something annoys, triggers, sets you off — PAUSE, either in the moment or after, and reflect on it. Ask yourself why it made you feel the way that it did. The first answer you get? That’s not THE answer. Ask why again. Then again. And again. Until you reach the root of it. That answer? Will always have to do with YOU, no one else. It’ll guide you to what’s inside of you that needs to be seen, to be healed.

I’ll give an example from my own life.

A ‘why’ you might land on as well since it’s a big one.

It used to drive me up the wall when a friend turned up late, keeping me waiting, sometimes for over an hour. I’d go from irritated to angry then furious, before burying it all so I wouldn’t ruin the evening. It happened often.

One night, while I was waiting, I asked myself…

WHY did it bother me?

I started with the obvious – how rude it was. Then I kept going. Why did her rudeness bother me so much? That led to how inconsiderate it was of my time. But I didn’t stop. I kept going deeper. Eventually, a ‘why’ landed on the wound inside that other people’s tardiness was triggering. The lack of consideration for me, especially from a friend, made me feel like I didn’t matter to them.

Then, I went deeper by taking a big step forward.

I took them out of it.

Because the person who’s doing the triggering doesn’t actually have anything to do with it. The truth was that I didn’t believe I mattered. When they kept me waiting, their actions triggered the deep fear I had that I didn’t matter, the one that existed within me long before I met anyone who couldn’t keep to a schedule. That was the root of it. And I knew, if I could heal that, if I could feel deeply, innately, that I mattered, then nothing anyone else did would matter. Nothing they did could shake me. There wouldn’t be anything inside of me to rattle. I would be able to keep my balance and stay grounded through anything.

Here’s another truth tied to every trigger I, or you, have ever experienced. You will never, no matter what you do or who with, be able to control another person’s actions. Ever. There will always be someone in your life that will do something that you don’t like. You can’t stop them. The only thing you can do? Heal everything within you that their actions might trigger. So that whatever they do slides right off of you.

Then? You are fully in your power and nothing can knock you out of it again.

How to get there? Once you know why something is bothering you? To heal it fully, you need to tackle it from different angles.

Take the example above. Here are a few things to dive into, to heal, to truly feel, to know, that you matter. 

ONE. Your sense of self-worth, so it’s solid inside of you, independent of anyone else’s validation of you.

TWO. Your belief in yourself, so it runs deep and never runs out, regardless if anyone else believes in you.

THREE. Your sense of security (or rather insecurity), which is tied to your confidence, and has to be completely independent of any material success that exists outside of you. 

Once those are solid within, you’ll know, you’ll feel deeply that you matter, no matter what anyone else says, thinks, or does in regards to you, ever.

It sounds like a lot to tackle. I know. I’ve gone deep into all of them. And I know what it takes to solidify each of these feelings, these energies, within you. So I know it can be done. You can shift all of this within you, which will shift your entire life. 

How?

Through a Combined Approach...

Self-Analysis / Awareness

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Energy Healing

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Actively Breaking Your Patterns

First, and continuously, raise your awareness of WHY. Either on your own or with help from an intuitive energy healer or a therapist. Simultaneously, go deep to HEAL the wounds and release the trapped energy around them. Once you’re free of all that negative energy, it’s easier to consciously and actively CHANGE, to break your patterns, the ones running you into the ground repeatedly, daily. These three tactics, combined, work. I know.

I also know, you’re ready to do this work. Ready to start. Here and now. Today. Ready to ask — WHY?

Through these, or in another way, do what it takes to get there. Because you deserve to feel your full worth, to believe in yourself fully, and to have full confidence in yourself.

And the truth of it? Not doing something won’t get you any further than you’ve already been. It’ll only stall you and the life you want, the one that will truly fulfill you. Which is what I want for you, and for everyone.

To LIVE a life that’s full of LOVE — for yourself, for and from others, and for what you do for a living. A life that’s built on a solid foundation, one that you can live feeling – being – WHOLE, every single second of it.

UPDATE: This article was written a few years ago. You can now hear more about these 3 Stages, along with the 4th Stage I’ve since discovered, in this video – The 4 Stages to Transforming Yourself & Your Life

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If you want to see and heal what’s hidden within, I’ve created tools that help you do that. Through 70+ HEART Alchemē Kits or The CORE reBUILD Program, you can clear out what’s weighed you down for way too long.

With, In & For LOVE…